After a traumatic event, it is hard to pick up the pieces. It can be a challenge to remember who you are outside of the painful event(s) that shook your life. When something tragic occurs, many people find it almost impossible to move on. It takes hold of your life and makes you question everything about it. “Who am I now? How does this define me? How do I move on from it?”
Unfortunately, it is all too common for those who went through a traumatic event to blame themselves. “Why was I even there? I should have done something differently. Maybe if I…” and the list can go on and on. Naturally, with this self-blame, it usually results in feelings of deflation and lack of self-confidence or worth.
Learing to love yourself after trauma is hard. Trauma itself is hard. But know that you are so much more than what happened to you. It doesn’t have to define you. Regardless of when or what happened, you can move past it. And you can start by learning to give yourself grace. Here are a few tips on how you can begin the journey to healing, starting from within you.
No More Hiding From The World
The shame and guilt trauma survivors feel often results in them hiding. Hiding themselves from the world, hiding their emotions from their loved ones and friends. Avoiding any situation that could potentially remind them of their past. And we get it. It’s hard to want to show yourself to the world when everything about your life feels altered by the painful memories.
You can start learning to love yourself by not withdrawing from the world around you. Surrounding yourself with family and friends who love you and care for you can do wonders for your spirit. Trauma is a very isolating experience, but that doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself. Let the world show you all the good that is left in it — and, in return, show the world the beautiful, possibilities you can bring to it.
Accept Where You Are At In Life
This does not mean you need to accept what happened to you if you aren’t ready for that. What this means is to accept that you will no longer interact with the world in the same way. You are a changed person because of the trauma you endured. And while it is a heartbreaking, mournful experience, to lose our sense of selves, there’s something powerful in it. It takes great strength to realize that you were changed by the event. And it also takes strength to give yourself the grace to just let yourself. Let yourself protect you in the way that you feel best. With trauma, you don’t want to rush or force yourself into anything. So while you can relish in the connections, vibes, and bonds you get from other people, if you are untrusting right now, it’s ok. It’s okay to take your time to slowly open up to others again. Right now, you are doing what you feel is best, but it doesn’t mean you will always stay in this place. Others may not understand this change in you, but you do. And we get it, too.
Prioritize Your Physical And Mental Health
An apple a day may not necessarily keep the doctor away, but it can help you on your journey to self-love again. By providing your body with the nutrition it needs, you are fueling it with the right types of food. And when this happens, your body will be more prepared to tackle each day as it comes. It will also help fuel you to take on activities that you truly enjoy doing, which can go along way with helping your mental health. But, please, if you crave that piece of cake after dinner, go for it!
Work on your mental health outside of relating it to your trauma. Read a book, go for a walk, or bake some cookies. Whatever it is that you enjoy, take some time each week to do it. You’ll feel good about yourself and will likely be in a better mood because of it.
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Coping with trauma in the weeks, months, or years, after the fact is hard. You may have lost your sense of self, but that doesn’t mean there is no hope left. There is always hope. For a better today and future. Please reach out to us if you need support recovering from trauma.
